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  1. Colin Marshall's avatar

    Thanks for this comment, Alan. I think the point you make carries weight – especially for some younger philosophers, in-person…

  2. V. Alan White's avatar

    I’m a lifelong APA member with APA emeritus status. I see many reasons for the online conference, and perhaps the…

  3. Colin Marshall's avatar

    Thanks for this, Matt – a good point. In scheduling the Pacific APA, Alex Sager and I did what I…

  4. Matt Lister's avatar

    “But, on the other hand, a virtual APA is in principle available to philosophers around the world” This is often…

  5. Kian Mintz-Woo's avatar

    Just a quick note to say that I thought these points were really well-taken. I registered for this year’s APA…

  6. LFC's avatar

    You’re right, that’s my mistake. Because the two incidents occurred a couple of months apart, I guess they often get…

  7. EAS's avatar

    This is incorrect. The incident involving Petrov occured on September 26, 1983. Petrov judged that the Oko early warning system’s…

When Lenin died…

Philosopher Noel Carroll shared this funny joke:

When Lenin died, as you’d expect, he went straight to Hell.

Satan decided he would assign Lenin to a sort of diabolical monastery that he had set up for clergy of all ranks and genders who had been damned for their sins ranging from selling indulgences and fornication to worse.  Satan thought it would be funny to have Lenin preached at day and night for millennia.  For, though in Hell, the clergy behaved as they did in life and organized themselves in the image of the Catholic Church on Earth (although they had many more than one pope),  After a week, Satan visited the monastery, and seeing Pope Not-So-Innocent III, he asked him how Lenin was fitting-in.  “Horribly” the Pope says. “He’s organized the nuns and they’re demanding to be ordained and he’s convinced some of the hornier bishops to indulge them.  All semblance of order is collapsing.  You gotta’ get him outta’ here.” 

So Satan moved Lenin to the area where he kept  all the damned factory workers.  Big mistake.  In a few days, Lenin had them unionized and they threatened to strike if Satan did not install air conditioners in their barracks.

Next Satan decided to house Lenin somewhere where he would never come in contact with other condemned sinners but only the demons that guarded him, “That” thought Satan “will put an end to his rabble-rising and organizing.”  But within less than a week, Satan got word that Lenin had convinced his keepers that this was the time for a Coup d’Enfer.

Exasperated, Satan didn’t know what to do with Lenin.  So he called St, Peter and begged him to take Lenin off his hands.  Finally, Peter agreed when Satan promised that there would be twenty percent fewer temptations on Earth for a century.

Lenin went to Heaven and peace, such as it is in Hell, reigned in Satan’s dominion.

After a few months, Satan, giggling to himself, wondered what mischief Lenin was up to in Heaven.

So, he took the elevator upstairs and headed to Peter’s podium by the Pearly Gates.

Satan: “So how are things going?”

Peter: “Same as always.  Maybe a little faster since you’ve lightened up on the temptations.”

Satan: “Oh that.  Say, tell me — how is Lenin working out?”

Peter: “Fine. He’s organized some reading groups where they discuss philosophy.”

Satan: “And you’re okay with that.”

Peter:  “Sure, I’m even in one of the groups.”

Satan: “And what does God think about that?”

Peter:  “There is no God.”

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