Yes, indeed, a nice takedown of a bit of sociological idealism in the NYT:

The article mentioned that policymakers need to focus on supporting parents, but in equal weight, if not more so, was the argument that America’s culture of parenting was the problem.

Having raised kids for 18 years in the United States and the past 5 years in The Netherlands, I feel qualified to assert that discussing a problematic “culture of parenting” in the USA is a frivolous, misleading, and irrelevant focus that does nothing but deflect from the real problem, which is that America hates people….

It is impossible to summarize the breadth and depth of difference it makes to parent in a society that prioritizes things like labor rights, work-life balance, healthcare, childcare, and well-funded schools, even for poor and middle-class folks.

It is impossible for me to convey how far the threads of social welfare nets extend; they are woven through every single area of parenting life….

As usual in the commodified cesspool of the United States, where only the marketable is worthy of our sustained attention, the narrative bombards American parents relentlessly: Others do it better because they are culturally superior….

Without experiencing it you really can’t imagine how different it is to parent in a place like The Netherlands, where all children’s healthcare is covered for free (yes, we pay taxes. I’ll get to that in a moment), schools are not funded by locally property taxes, universal pensions exist, as well as things like “papadag,” or “daddy day,” which allows fathers to take a weekly half or full day off work, paid in full or at 70%, to spend with their kids.

Labor rights, collective bargaining, and the money you get every 3 months for each child or teenager, because, in the words of the government, every child in The Netherlands deserves a certain quality of life — all of this creates an environment that would be unrecognizable to the everyday American. The childcare subsidies that extend to the middle class. The housing subsidies that extend to the middle class. The note on the bottom of all your bills: “Having trouble paying? Call this number.” Guaranteed paid vacations of at least 6 weeks a year. As many paid sick days as you need.

A year paid or almost completely paid to recover from “burnout,” which is, incidentally, the state of the average American worker: so stressed you can’t sleep, facing health issues from stress, unable to function — here, the normal American lifestyle is considered a serious and treatable illness. I know many people who have taken a year off work, PAID, to get treated for and recover from burnout. Google it. Blow your own mind.

In the USA we have none of this. If you’re rich enough you can have all of these things. And the very poor, yes, have some assistance, but they have a whole slew of other dangers and indignities to their lives: insecure, unsafe housing, poorly funded schools, gun violence, drugs and mental health crises, neighborhoods in food deserts, parents working three jobs and still barely surviving.