MOVING TO FRONT FROM DECEMBER 20–SEE UPDATE

"Please pass the salt": 
Download SALT research

(Thanks to Richard Stith for the pointer.)

UPDATE:  Philosopher Lars Bergström (Stockholm) tells me that the author of this parody was actually the philosopher Herman Tennesen; Professor Bergström writes:

It was given to me long ago by the author, Herman Tennesen (or possibly by a close friend of his, Harald Ofstad, who was my supervisor, and predecessor as professor of practical philosophy, at the University of Stockholm). As far as I remember, Tennesen's name was not mentioned in the manuscript; I seem to remember that the author was presented as "Murdock Pencil, professor of Social Darwinism at the Old School for Social Research", as it says in the Washington Post article. I knew Tennesen well, and I am quite sure he really was the author. The article is also very typical of his kind of wit. I did not know that it was actually published in the Journal of Communications, as the WP says, but that may be so. The only difference that I can pin down between my copy and the WP-version is in the list of references, where the second item in the WP-version is "Bem. B." In my version, absolutely all authors had the initial "R". But this is probably just a misprint.