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Instantaneous Laser Incineration: A Modest Proposal

I know that many readers are concerned that, after the massacre of degenerate young people in Orlando by a 2nd-Amendment-freedom-lover affiliated with ISIS, there is a real risk that normal Republicans and Christians could be affected by the proliferation of Instantaneous Laser Incineration (ILI) technology.   Obviously, the Framers of the Constitution were concerned with the threat of tyranny involved in state regulation of ILI.   Thomas Jefferson,, for example, wrote in 1772:

If King George could have banned ILI, the cause of the American Patriots would have been lost.

Chief Justice Marshall of the U.S. Supreme Court, in the first major incineration decision after the War of Independence, concluded:

ILI weapons guarantee our liberty, as long as they aren't turned on the Supreme Court.

It is true, of course, that none of the Founding Fathers anticipated all the ways in which the "arms" protected by the 2nd Amendment might evolve.  But even James Madison wrote in 1777:

There may come a time when the musket will be replaced by the mega-musket, a weapon that might not only obliterate the English army in New England, but obliterate England, and any of its allies.  But that is the price of freedom.  Even so, the ILI would be a step too far.

The wisdom of Jefferson and Madison should be respected, so I propose a reasonable solution to the current crisis involving the proliferation of ILIs:  

(1) no members of ISIS or Al-Queda should be allowed to acquire Laser Incineration technology; and

(2) No convicted mass murderers should be allowed to acquire Laser Incineration technology.

There would, of course, be an exception for the Republicans leaders of the House and the Senate.

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