And it doesn’t mince words. In this case, the task was assigned to EJ Spode, “who assembled the following crack team of elite scholars to work as a totally independent group to address the issues raised in the charge: Somerset Maugham, Edmund Burke Junior, Joseph de Maistre, and Thomas Carlyle. Fortuitously, at the time the committee was assembled, all were living in the New York/New Jersey area. What are the chances?”

An excerpt:

[L]et’s be clear on what we are NOT saying:

a.     We are NOT saying the problem is that academics in the humanities are a bunch of red diaper baby, left-wing commie transgendered freaks, although of course they are.

b.     We are NOT saying the problem is that academics in the humanities are Black Bloc, Molotov Cocktail-throwing borderline terrorists, although of course they sort of are.

c.     We are NOT saying the problem is that academics in the humanities have abandoned all interest in the canon and only give a shit about the writings of differently abled transgendered persons of color, although this is certainly true.

d.     We are NOT saying the problem is that academics in the humanities are sitting around peeing on original copies of Milton and torching libraries, although they would do it if we let them.

Noooo, we are saying that they got political and their work went to shit and what did you expect to happen anyway?