I suppose this parody just had to be written. An excerpt:

“Jacques Derrida, the famous French philosopher, is ‘dead’. But as there is no straightforward, one-to-one relationship between the signifier (‘dead’) and the thing signified (the termination or otherwise of the actual person, M. Derrida), we cannot be entirely sure what has happened. We are faced instead with an endless multiplicity of truths, a string of infinite possibilities. I suppose it is entirely up to the reader to decide. It would be logocentric of us all to assume that Jakki’s corporeal remains are in a state of decomposition simply because of the unbidden and puzzling presence, in our newspapers, of that signifier ‘dead’ in relation to the name ‘Jacques Derrida’ — a name which is, of course, itself merely a signifier bearing no straightforward relationship with the actual thing which we have come to call ‘Derrida’.”

I’m not sure the rest is worth reading. The light amusement value is pretty much captured in the bit quoted here.