MOVING TO FRONT FROM APRIL 4–UPDATED
After Donald Trump became US President he went on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he was on a tour of Jerusalem he suffered a heart attack and died.
The undertaker told the American diplomats who were accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here in the Holy Land, for just $100.'
The American diplomats went into a corner and discussed this for a several minutes. They came back to the undertaker and told him they wanted the president shipped home.
The undertaker was puzzled and asked, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here, in the Holy Land, and you would spend only $100?'
The American diplomats replied, 'A long time ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take that risk.'
UPDATE: Reader Felix Sadelli points out to me that this joke is clearly a variation on one told about Stalin in the old Soviet Union (you can find a version of it in Russia Dies Laughing: Jokes from Soviet Russia. Here's one version of it:
Stalin was dead. The Soviet people resolved to get rid of the dictator by burying his body as far as possible. They formed a special committee to have this arranged.
It wrote to the British asking if Stalin could be buried there. "Well," replied the British, "we already have Karl Marx here. It would not be fitting to have two communist figures in the same nation."
It then turned to the Germans. "We suppose," replied the Germans, "but as you know, there is already Hitler here. Two authoritarian figures in the same nation would not be proper."
As the committee pondered where to ask next, a telegram came from Tel Aviv. "Since Stalin never objected to the formation of Israel, we agree to have him buried here."
The committee felt relieved, but suddenly a few members started to panic and shrieked. "No way! No way! In Israel, they believe in the resurrection of the dead!"
Mr. Sadelli kindly shared some others; just a couple which were especially funny:
A man ran along the streets of Moscow yelling, "Khrushchev is a pig!"
He was arrested, tried, and sentenced to 21 years in prison. One year for the insult, and 20 years for "divulging state secret."
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Brezhnev and Napoleon met in the afterlife.
"Had you been our commander in the last world war instead of Stalin, Hitler's army would surely have not been able to cross into the Soviet Union," said Brezhnev to Napoleon.
"And had I had a newspaper like Pravda," said Napoleon, "my defeat at Waterloo would never have been found out."
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